the story of home
chunky knits and a handful of crunch from a neighbour’s garden / table vignette including blushing bride, eucalyptus and sweet pea, a scalloped candle holder found at Bayside Vintage and the right amount of beeswax, waiting for a flame / nature comes inside and rests awhile on the windowsill, new books to see me through early winter bedtimes
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I’m quickly learning that perfection in the family home is neither achievable or desirable. There will always be clothes to fold, toys to pick up, dry bread crusts under the couch.
I wiped the table just the other day and noticed Che’s handwriting ingrained in the surface; the happiness of such a discovery is still with me. The floorboards in our loungeroom are worn from years of fancy footwork, they need more oil, sometime soon. The paint is starting to chip on doorways and sills but last week I wiped down walls with hot water, bicarb and vinegar and it felt like new – good enough.
Perfectionism is exhausting and I’m starting to let go of it. We had visitors on Friday and they told me that they loved the “lived-in” feel of our home, its authenticity and comfort…its beautiful imperfections.
I hope you can look around your home today and see the story of your family.
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When my boys were little they carved their names into the woodwork between their bedrooms. If I ever move, I will take that piece of wood with me.
I no longer desire perfection in our home either. A home should be lived in and comfortable and I love when I can share that with others.
I love your table…spots and carvings and all. 🙂
Dry bread crusts under the couch, such is our home too. This week I cleaned out Audrey's wardrobe and found a collection of half eaten muesli bars and biscuits she must of stashed there for a late night snack! I asked her who put the food their and she looked at me with a sheepish smile and said "I no no" (I don't know) and walked off!
Good enough, two words I try and live by as I fold the washing, wipe kitchen benches and vacuum a bit here and a bit there. I like that I've never strived for perfection as far as housework goes – it's healthy – but I wish I could extend the same wisdom to my parenting. Is what I've done/I'm doing good enough? Sadly I think this is my undoing. Thank you for making me think on this. x
I'm constantly questioning myself on the parenting front…something I need to work on too x
I so need to look around and see this instead of the imperfect and dusty mess that has stressed me out for days on end. I have three little ones. I need to accept the imperfect and see the bounty more often. Thank you for the change in perspective….
I think it´s very important for a home to look alive – so I don´t mind a little mess here and there. 🙂
http://tinajoathome.com/
Hmmm – I'll try to think of that as I look at my sink full of dishes. Just this morning I thought to myself how can one adult human and one small cat make so much mess – I can't even think what it would be like if I had kidlets running around! I like this idea of letting perfection go, but I think I'll still do the dishes. Maybe after dinner…
love that sweet jumper!!!!
http://twolittleknightlights.blogspot.co.nz/
Well put. I struggle with the whole 'home' concept at the moment as we are renting a fully furnished unit here in Noosa. Im a real home-body and from the time I can remember I have always wanted my space to be mine…perfect and 'me'. Its almost like a lesson living here in this fully furnished unit – that family is where home is – the heart. Plus by casually adding a few cosy cushions and hanging some lovely fabric/flowers/some special treasures/photo's…a space can feel cosy. I love the idea of a well-lived home – we shouldn't just be trying to replicate the latest ikea brochure or design blog home…although 'inspired elements' + a 'lived in space' = perfection.
Thanks for the encouraging words
Oh, I love your nature collection. I've been finding the mess that accompanies my children overwhelming recently (and I'm by no means a perfectionist), thank you for reminding me to slow down and breathe and enjoy.
Beautiful photos, and such a wonderful message. I've really been feeling the same thing lately. Thank you for putting it into such lovely words. (Love those yellow shoes/boots.)
Oh Jodi, your last few words bought me to tears today. As I spent my day baking (Oreo Brownies), the kitchen is a very gentle space for me. Our home now has a story that I never imagined would happen, behind our second bedroom door is a nursery that was set up for our little girl but she never came home. I know our story is this at the moment and she will always be part of our story I do hope that it changes in the near future.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful photos and story
xx Kellie
I'm so so sorry, Kellie. You're right, Lillian will always be a big part of your story, in your home and in your heart x
PS. If you're interested in reading stories from other babyloss mothers, as well as the advice/opinion of various health professionals, I recommend "Pregnancy Loss" by Zoe Taylor x
Oh Kellie. I have been there, and I know the heartache and pain. I've just visited your lovely blog and left a message for you there. So much love to you and your family. I will always remember your Lillian with you.
Ronnie xo
Thank you, Ronnie. I was hoping you two would connect x
Thank you Jodi, I have not read this one but will add it to the collection. I do find that connecting with other babyloss mothers helps. xx
Definitely something to aspire to! My pre-occupation with achieving the perfect home is just too hard. I think I'll have to try and settle for 'the place where all of my favourite people (and animals!) are happy'.
Thats a beautiful wish from you for your readers i.e. 'I hope you can look around your home today and see the story of your family.' – and oh so important now that the colder months are keeping us indoors living that story so much more than summer (when the birds eat the bread crusts strewn on the lawn)
beautiful thoughts…
Beautiful post as always, Jodi.
Ronnie xo
i loved this post! with a two years old and a new baby coming in less than two months, our family story is still on his way! i'm a perfectionist (as every virgo i know) so it's not always easy… but looking at my house, when Zoe Tiare is sleeping, tripping over her toys, makes me smile… living is learning and i'm doing my best to let my perfectionist part to everything but family and house!
Wonderfully true. I remember….while I was laboring at home I madly attempted to make everything in our home perfect. Scrubbing carpets and dusting and organizing. And then we got home and I realized, that stuff doesn't matter. The cat tears on the furniture and the cat fur and the crayon marks on the walls and dried washable paint in places at random, little errant socks laying around and piles of laundry and pillows in the floor, that is life, my life, and I love each little bit of it. 🙂
This is good to hear, I'm slowly accepting this is the way life is and not everything can or needs to be perfect.
I have come to love…or at least tolerate…the signs of Toddler C.
I recently came across the "Kids Were Here" project…photos of kid vignettes like trains in the fridge and sultanas scattered over the florr…and it really made me smile and realise that to kids it isn't mess, it is just their life.
One would never know it by looking at this blog. Thanks for dispelling the myth for us too. 🙂
I loved reading this post of yours Jodi. There's no such thing as a perfect home, especially with little ones. Something I am still trying to learn. What a lovely reminder 🙂
I needed to hear this today, thank you Jodi x
I hope that no-one from my family reads this as I would hate to offend them, but I come from a family of clean freaks – seriously! If my mother arrived home from work to find – not a sink full of dishes, but a sink filled with drops of water – we were in trouble – one must wipe the water with a towel. My home as I grew up, ALWAYS looked like a home design magazine – yes it was beautiful, but my brother and I were painfully aware that we fell short of its perfection. My brother and I instinctively got with the program – what maters most is how things appear to be. My Aunt, while waiting for an ambulance when she had cancer in her spine – got up to mop the floor so the floors would shine upon her return!
So in my family now, with my own little person, of coarse I freak out at mess, and panic if my mother is popping over, but I remember – every hour I spend obessing about 'home perfection' is an hour I am not getting to know who my son is. In the book "Brother of the less famous Jack' there is an amazing scene in which the Father says somehting along the lines of "a messy house is a philosophy – a philosophy to be be truy present in your children's lives".
it's amazing how the story of your family unfolds. over the years i have learned to let so many little things go. family is the meaning. family is the home. and as long as you keep that close to your heart that's all that matters.
lovely jodi.
xo
Oh yes! We moved six months ago and I finally feel like we've found a home to really live in. A place to make memories and leave our imprints xx
I love your table vignette Jodi, and thank you for including me! I like how you bring nature into your home. Here I have learnt that no matter how many times I try to clean them away, there will be permanent little handprints on the windows…grass and dirt on the floorboards (and oh the sand in summer!) strewn Matchbox cars and Lego. One day all too soon, though, there won't be, when they're all grown up. Alison x
i agree 🙂 "The home should be the treasure chest of living."