sensing a shift
The past fews days have been beautiful; because I’ve realised that my priorities right now are so wildly different to what they were a few months ago. And with such a realisation comes a profound sense of calm and contentment – purpose and gratitude all wrapped up in one.
I tend to re-read my posts hours after I write them and so it was with last week’s post on knowing my limits. The next day I spent time with two women, both mothers, and they asked me how I was doing it all. As I responded I could feel myself tense and exhausted yet I spoke with only optimism. I walked away from both conversations wanting what they both had – slow days at home without the pressure of demanding work and the need to shuffle children about. Then, as I raced out of the car I dropped my phone on the asphalt and the screen smashed into hundreds of tiny pieces. And I cried. In that moment I realised; I could have slow days at home, I just needed to say no to a few things.
The relief!
I turned down a big photography job that meant a lot to me. I had the opportunity to work with a brand I admire and wholeheartedly believe in, the money was significant and I wanted to create beautiful images for them. But it was beyond me. It meant coordinating shoots with a variety of people, a certain amount of flexibility on my behalf, organising to have the kids looked after, a lot of pressure. So I sent them an email and I politely declined and just like that my mood and mindset shifted.
The past few days have been beautiful because I’ve reconnected to what’s important. Right now home is where I need to be – nurturing my little people, writing stories, embracing slow. Ordinary, normal, at-home days should never, ever be underestimated. Indeed, they are a blessing.
We are spending more days in and around our home of late, enjoying our surroundings and one another and the difference it has made to my emotional state is incredible! I know Audrey still needs her outings and social time but I am seeing her develop in different areas now we are appreciating our time in our home… Much love x
Beautiful post and I'm going to take as a sign of encouragement, I am making some changes myself to move (a little) closer to slow days and more calm but there is a part of me that resists this at every step. Your post has helped my tame that voice (at least a bit) today and I am stepping ever so slowly closer to the calm, slow days I desire. Thank you!
Finding the courage to say no is really hard Jodi. especially when you did get offered really exciting and important work. I really admire you for realising this and focusing on what's important. I need to take a leaf out of your book and learn to say no too. Imaging having time at home with the children and and for writing, bliss. Thanks for such an enlightening post. xx
I turned down my dream job a fortnight ago. My first reaction was disappointment, but by golly I'm a who lot more relaxed this week. And proud of myself too. Well done you!
Well done to you, embracing the slow is no easy feat for most of us, but what a difference it makes to every single thing you do and to these little people who are not going to be so little forever. I've no doubt you'll have another opportunity to say yes when the time is right for you all..x
Oh, such wise words. Funny how we Mama's have these moments of clarity and how one decision can have such a powerful ripple effect. I've been taking the pressure off lately too. I felt with this pregnancy the limited time I had to achieve things before the baby was born, so I pushed myself, and I have already achieved more than I thought I ever would. Now I am cutting myself some slack, giving myself time off to knit and read and put my feet up. Remembering to 'play' with my children, not just watch them, bake and cook, not just begrudge making food and cleaning up.
Hope this feeling lingers for both of us. xx
Thanks for this. i need to do the same x
Well done to you Jodi! My phone smashed the other week…I was really angry at myself! I've written a post and linked in your post about caring for yourself. I'll let you know when I publish it. It really had a profound effect on me, and I want other people to read it. Enjoy your day xx
Like always beautiful Jodi, your posts are perfect timing. Xx
I agree with Belinda, perfect timing! I've been lately justifying what I do (choosing to be a stay at home mum) to people I've recently met and even some extended family who ask when I'm going back to work as my youngest will soon be two. But I love my life at home. I love our slow days. I love not missing out. It's not to say I won't always be doing this but you're right sometimes you just have to say no, this isn't the right time for our family. I'm so happy you feel lighter. I see my Mum still not being able to say no and overloading herself and I'm determined not to go down the same path, I think it's a great life lesson to pass down to our children.
well done, mama!!! that is a tough call but a wise one. ohhhh how i cherish slow days! i find the longer i am at home w the kids (going on 5.5 years now!) the more i relax into this groove and cherish these days pottering around with little ones, caring for the home and the family. it is a blessing indeed and as you said – not to be underestimated!
I could literally feel your despair as I pictured you standing there over your phone. I made a very insignificant call this morning to sort out a very insignificant sum of money and as I was given the bad news I started crying and wanted to hurl the phone across the room. I needed to have a little cry and then I too made some decisions this afternoon. It's truly a blessing to be able to see things from a higher perspective rather than get caught up in all the flying debris. This was a beautiful post Jodi. x
Me too! This is similar to what I have going on…what a breath of fresh air to hear your story. Thanks for being you.x
I have felt a strong desire to slow down & spend more time at home with my daughter so I made the decision to drop a day of work so now i'm only away from home 2 days each week. It is a bit scary as finances will be very tight but i feel a great sense of relief. I also dropped & smashed my phone afew weeks ago, I felt quite panicked for a couple of days but it ended up being a blessing in disguise as i couldn't afford a new phone right away so i had to use an old one without internet access & it felt so good to take a break from facebook & emails & to just enjoy the present moment with my little one.
Good on you for making the wise choice for yourself and your family. I've been reading your blog for some time now and I wanted to say (finally) how impressed I am with all that you are doing. My children are long ago grown and established in their own families, and I am now a single, working (full-time) woman in America. Several years ago my mother passed away and I was suddenly drowning in the "stuff" of two households and lifetimes (hers and my own). It was overwhelming in the amount of things to be dealt with and the seeming lack of time to deal with it all. Little by little it happened though and at this point I can honestly say that my life has finally become simpler and cleaner and easier all 'round. What I wanted to tell you is that it took me well into my adult life to find this kind of peace and though I don't live regretting what I didn't know earlier, I'm happy for where I am now. I think it's marvelous that you are finding out these things at this stage, while your children are young and you are too. There is a lightness to not carrying the burden of "things" – but an ever greater lightness to not carrying the burden of filled up time. We all do what we have to do to manage financially, but what we have to do to manage spiritually isn't always so easy to see. You should be proud of yourself for the vision that you have. – 🙂 Liz in Missouri, USA
I usually don't comment in your posts just because I know how many of them you get and I'm not sure you get to read them all. But I needed to say as a mother of a two years old boy I feel inspired by your words and they have made a huge impact in my life, for the best. I do my best to live a simple yet thoughtful life with my beautiful family, I'm not working at the moment but I started a blog last year with the hope to get a bit creative but it was too much so It's on hold. It takes a lots of gut to focus and choose what's really important, I want to thank you again for your beautiful blog and the way you are inspiring mums all over the world. Cheers from London x
It's so true that we can throw up a lot of balls into the air however there are some that are bound to be dropped. It's nice just having a few balls to throw that you can comfortably catch without too much effort. Sometimes you can't have your cake and eat to too and this week even though the photography job would have been great, for the moment it's not possible and I'm sure other opportunities will come along. Dropping the phone would have been the last straw I'm sure…………..nice to chill out and take your ordinary everyday life in. That reminds me if you haven't read "The Gift of the Ordinary Day" by Katrina Kenison it is an absolute MUST. I'm not much of a reader however that book I read in a couple of days and I couldn't put it down. It was incredible and amazing and if you haven't read it, that's something you need to. It's a little paper back book. She also has a website. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia
Good job Jodi, its not always easy to say no to wonderful opportunities! Isn't it amazing just how lighter we physically feel when we be honest with ourselves about how much we want to have on our plate!? Once our children are grown, we'll have years to do all of these things that want to take our attention away from what is best for our family. For now, lets continue to support each other in making our home and family a bigger priority than everyone else's deadlines! 🙂
Lovely. Sometimes we just have to acknowledge the season we're in. Mine at the moment is motherhood. It's my first priorty. Here's a good post on motherhood and the tug of life and dreams and just being content with we're we are at. http://arielleeliseblog.com/2014/03/when-dreams-are-put-on-hold/ x
i have just done the same i have said no to an art installation that i really wanted to do but that meant many many trips down to Kent which is 185 miles away! i just couldn't cope with that pressure when 3 little kids at home need me and i have so many calls on my time here. good for you….sorry about the phone, that sucks!!
You made an important choice that is quite defineing, you chose your childrens wellbeing and your own mental health over money and work. I admire you, sometimes its a very important lesson to learn (and a lot of people these days take a long time to learn it), that we can't have it all, but really we can have what's important…..
"Ordinary, normal, at-home days should never, ever be underestimated. Indeed, they are a blessing." I love that! In today's busy society, being at home as a family and making time to just be together is definitely a blessing.
"Ordinary, normal, at-home days should never, ever be underestimated. Indeed, they are a blessing."
This has been quoted above but I also love it! Made me feel better as soon as I read it, thank you!
P.S.: this is the first time for me on your blog, came across it while researching making the move to the Coast from Sydney…and found you. Happy!