ebb/flow
Pirate Che on his unmade bed/turbulent sea attended his second party of the week which confirms that he’s got a better social life than his parents.
Poet has just become a bit of a chatterbox. If she’s not sucking on her hands, she’s gesticulating wildly and squawking like the morning birds (at sunrise!). There’s a rooster across the road too so clearly she’s just joining in on the morning chorus.
3.5 months is when everything shifts. It still amazes me, on this second round of motherhood, that the bond between mother and baby is so very strong. I’m still so connected to her. The cord was cut but we still flow with the same rhythm. And just this past week, as she has opened those big eyes a little wider, found her sing-song voice and discovered her own strength, I felt the last of those pregnancy hormones vanish – hence I was tired, headachy and generally a little blah. The ebb and the flow of it. I have managed to pick myself up – I’m eating with more awareness, drinking plenty of water, getting into bed early and slowing down just a bit.
I was feeling really good this morning. And then I dropped Che at Montessori. One of the dad’s was walking towards me, he knows our family, met Poet only last week, and he pointed at (and touched!) my post-baby belly and exclaimed: “Oh, you’ve got another one on the way!”
Did anyone say BIGGEST FAUX PAS EVER!
I just keep telling myself what I tell every single one of my pre-natal students: “It takes you a year to conceive, grow and birth your baby. It will take a year for your body to return to (a semblance of) its former self.”
My mantra for the day – perhaps for the week.
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Showing 34 comments
They MUST have adopted…I mean, really?!!!!
I was going to write a comment about how seeing Che play makes me rethink how awesome it is to be the first born – first born don't get to watch in awe at their unreal older brother play. But then I got to the idiot Dad comment. I can't believe that! I live in fear that someone is going to think I'm pregnant. My tummy just pops itself out all on it's own accord. Don't let him get you down Jodi! You are one gorgeous lady! All the more so with two kids by your side. Kellie xx
Who ever decided that our bellies were meant to be flat in the first place, let along after child-birth? My stomach is not flat 20months on, but I am proud of what my body did to give us such a beautiful gift. xx
And unless someone is actually in labour, I never comment on their tummy unless they actually say "I'm having a baby!" xx
I bet he is 1000 times more embarrassed than you are! Ah, silly man. Some of the best advice ever given to me from my boss was "unless a woman is on the floor giving birth, never ask if she's pregnant. And even then be careful."
I overheard an exchange in the street the other day:
lady 1: "When are you going to have that baby of yours?"
lady 2: "Um.. I did, she's 4 months old now".
That's shocking! Seriously I've looked about 4 months pregnant since puberty. He really must have been completely confident you looked so good that he was OK to joke. Who knows what people think sometimes! Just keep it real today and ignore the crazy man! xx
oooohhhh what a gorgeous photo of Poet!!! i love the stripes too the combination of horizontal and vertical. clever photography! aahhhh i sometimes get that comment every now and then. some people just don't have any tack. but i bet the was embarrassed by it afterwards ha ha ha. ohhhh…
ahh.. your babies look so beautiful here! love those big eyes of poet.
i had to pipe in to let you know that someone asked me the same question the other day. and i last gave birth 6 years ago. so i know exactly how you feel! (don't let it upset you- i am getting better at laughing these things off…)
Oh my that is a terrible faux pas! I'm sure he feels awful (which doesn't make it sting any less for you) and will never say such a thing to another woman again.
When I was pregnant with both my children I carried with a very large belly and not much anywhere else. I was stopped by a woman once and asked how many I was having. Another time I was indulging in a pedicure and the lady told me I was going to have a very, very large baby. After I had my first, a dental hygienist asked me when I was due (this was 6 months after having my child). It stings and I tried not to let it ruin my day but the negative feelings linger.
I enjoy your posts so much for the love you pour into each post describing your lovely family. When I have a day of tantrums it's a gentle reminder to cherish the magical moments with my young girls.
Jodi your kids couldn't be any cuter!!
I have had many similar comments over the years and it used to sting….not so much any more as I have come to a point in my life where I am proud of what my body has achieved…bulging belly, stretch marks and all. Wear them with honour I say 🙂
x
Before you went all calm and zen about it all did you give him a good slap? or grab his love handles?. I was taught that you never view. We have all been in the same boat, the annoying part is being too sleep deprived to come up with a witty comeback. melx
Poet – my goodness, so sweet. My 'baby' is nearly 5 and I just yearn for those sweet baby days…
As for THAT comment, yes it has happened to me too, when my middle girl was 10 weeks old, my brother in law tapped on my belly (how rude!) and told me I looked liked number 3 was on the way…I was incredulous, speechless and he thought he was so funny!
O lordy! Who says that???
Yes I have squeezed my body into a pair of jeans today and really I am feeling quite uncomfortable!!! Need to see the bigger picture and give myself time to recover and replenish.
Take care of yourself and those gorgeous children. So very blessed indeed.
That man is crazy.
Betcha he realised as he was walking away how dumb his comment was.
*shock* What was he thinking! Really??
Che looks like a wonderful pirate by the way! 🙂
xoxox
oh shit. i got that when quinn was 4 months. since my body likes to hold onto the fat until i am done breastfeeding…it takes me two years. i actually had a friend pat my belly last week and smile really big. nope. no. just been eatin' more then my fair share i guess.
Those kind of moments aren't supposed to happen in a Montessori world, are they?? x
I had a customer at work ask how far along i was. I've never been pregnant. I wake up with a relatively flat stomach & by the afternoon i look 4-5 months gone. I'm trying to get concieve now so i already know how i'll look halfway along!
Che looks so ridiculously happy in this photo & Poet looks absolutely divine!
Firstly – how cute are these two photos? TOO CUTE!
Secondly, shit balls! What the heck??? No WAY SISTER! No he didn't.
I am paranoid people will think I am pregnant if I eat a big sandwich, or I don't have a drink. But really, you should have, in the immortal words of that mortal tool, Tom Cruise, said: "Put your manners back in."
What a numpty (as we say in these parts!)… don't let that comment bother you. Jodi you are one beautiful woman, with gorgeous kids…and an open heart. Shrug it off…he is probably incredibly embarrassed and was told off big time by his wife! Lou xxx p.s. your kids are the cutest ever! x
you have THE most darling children. oh, and you are a complete stunner. just sayin'. x
Ive had that said to me a couple of times (both by women!) and i think its incredibly rude! I doubt ill ever have a flat tummy again and its the least of my worries but its a different story when someone else points it out! Try not to let it worry you. You are gorgeous and so are your 2 children. I think 3 months is a pretty special age (well they all are really). At 3 months babies are all just smiles and cuteness 🙂
gasp! i cannot believe someone would say that too you. not to mention touch…
your little ones are gorgeous and i can't believe how much Poet has grown.
i love your mantra.
x
Jodi, jodi dearest!
It is so TRUE. Easy does it. I stopped breastfeeding my little love end of April. It took three months for the last of those breastfeeding hormones to disappear…. and suddenly…. I completely dropped the last 4kgs in two months flat.
Here in France there seems to be a lot of pressure for women to get back to normal so fast. My eldest sister always told me: it takes nine months to make a baby and nine months for your body to recover… but contrary to many breastfeeding has never made me lose weight. My body holds onto fat reserves just incase.
I found it hard – even with the third – to be patient with my body. I DO feel back to wonderful normal now though having relished my job of nursing mother for all those months. My husband nodded wisely the other day and remarked how it takes me two years to be me physically again.
I hope my ramblings made sense?
Stephanie
Um, firstly, how could you be (visibly) preggers when you are carrying what is obviously a very young baby in your arms, and secondly, people say some really dumb things. I can't tell you how many times I've had that happen, and I think the worst thing is having to deal with the person's embarrassment when you say no! I've never had a flat stomach, and never will have, and frankly, don't care! You're gorgeous, and I think you are wise enough to be comfortable in your own body.
Beautiful pictures… idiotic Dad comment… and clearly two very happy children.
When others aren't kind to you – be even kinder to yourself. You are gorgeous! x
gah! he must be feeling like a bit of a tool right about now.
the kids are looking lovely and I'm SURE you are too.
And touched you…really??
I bet he is feeling so much worse than you now. I wonder what he'll say when next you meet.
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous to catch up on a bit of your world. x
Lou I was thinking the same – total numpty! What a fool!
Beautiful pictures. You can see the love and happiness in both their faces xx
ps. So glad the book arrived safely and you love it. Just thought the illustrations were so lovely. x
stupid dad – what has he on his mind?
besides your social life will return soon enough – enjoy some time of silence 🙂
Wonderful pictures of your children. I bet he sure felt awkward afterward! Some people…
*sigh* another one here who can identify with ridiculous comments that cut to the bone. No less than 4 comments at different times, one lady actually argued with me…"are you SURE you aren't?"
Jodi…just love your blog, your images and everything else.
Its nice to share all this importante days, the good and the bad everyone has them.
I want to ask you where did you got the ilustration that you have over poet bed!?!?! the one of a man and a woman (juts like a mom and a dad).
Its so beautiful.
thnaks so much in advance.
love
mariana
Oh my. We all know you should never, ever, never say things like that. His wife will kill him.
The babies are gorgeous. As are you.
xxx