As we launch into autumn and embrace all the new season has to offer, I’m more conscious than ever of seasonal motherhood; the ebb and flow of energy, my changing shape and the anticipation for this baby that grows inside.

We had our 19 week scan yesterday and watched our little one kick and squirm and yawn and suck its thumb. The magic of seeing your unborn baby on the screen never wanes. We left the ultrasound clinic with b+w photos in hand and for the rest of the day I found myself scanning the images, looking at its profile and button nose and wondering, wondering, whether it’s a boy or a girl.

We always choose to wait till birth to find out the sex of the baby. It’s the ultimate surprise and I wouldn’t trade the months of wondering for anything. Each to their own, of course, but I also think that in those final stages of labour it really does add an extra incentive to breathe and focus and push.

Naturally, I’m also thinking about names and yet there’s a big part of me that isn’t too concerned about having a definite list. During Percy’s pregnancy we had considered a few names but we didn’t really love any of them. And then, when he was born, we just knew….he brought his own name and it’s been perfect ever since.

And so while Daniel and I have discussed a few possibilities we’re more intent than ever on meeting this baby and spending a few hours or a few days getting to know him/her before we decide.

Of course, I’m open to suggestions and looking through children’s picture books and old diaries for inspiration; dreaming of a name and conjuring images of this baby once born. I found a second-hand baby name book at a local cafe and was astounded to find the name Poeta in there so I grabbed it immediately and have been flicking through it on occasion, fascinated more by the origin of names than the names themselves.

And while we may be light on collected names for baby, I’m starting to slowly gather newborn essentials – shopping the top of the wardrobe, mostly. There lies tubs of cotton and wool worn by three, soon to be four. Hues of cream and grey – perfectly unisex and soft to touch. And imbued with so many milky memories.