just lead me

The last thing I want to do on a yoga mat is think too much about what’s coming next. This way of thinking, this way of being, defines motherhood, don’t you think? Whilst being in the here and now is ideal, there’s no denying that I spend most of my day thinking ahead; the washing that needs to be brought in, the dinner that needs to be cooked, the children that need to be picked up from school.

The essence of vinyasa (flow) yoga is to move from one asana to the next; guided by the body and not so much the mind. But therein lies the dilemma. It’s necessary for me to spend much of my day making decisions and answering questions; I come to yoga to get out of my head and return, albeit momentarily, to my tired body.

So you can understand that by the time I’ve created the space to get onto the mat, I am begging for someone to grab hold of my hand and tell me what to do. Just lead me! It’s only in the past few weeks that I’ve had this realisation and perhaps it’s why I’ve never been disciplined enough to maintain a regular home practise. For someone who thinks too much as it is, guiding myself through a yoga sequence is almost detrimental.

Recently, the lovely Gaby recommended Gaiam TV – an online yoga channel that is very affordable and incredibly encouraging. Since I signed up I’ve done a practise most days – it’s so easy to open the laptop, press play and go! And you know what, it really does make a difference to my day. It’s only thirty minutes (that I would otherwise be spending online) and once complete I feel grounded and open; I stand taller, breathe deeper and speak more calmly. And yes, my core is starting to heal and strengthen.

A few years ago I would have been too embarrassed to admit that as a yoga teacher, I couldn’t maintain a home practise. But I’ve come to realise that my greatest truth is best acknowledged; now, in this season of early motherhood, I need some nurturing, too. And if that comes from a yoga class through a laptop, so be it.

Perhaps, on this first day of winter, you could promise to nurture yourself through the season. If so, what will you do?

Recent Posts
Showing 12 comments
  • Chels
    Reply

    I can so very relate to this. Motherhood is a big series of questions and choices that almost feel suffocating at times. When I have a moment to myself the last thing I want to do is make another decision. Being lead, especially in yoga practice, is one of the most free feelings despite that fact that you are not in control. It's so hard to get out to the studio (especially for us since we are traveling Australia with a toddler!), and you've just inspired me to hop back on my mat and lets someone on the internet guide me. Hope you have a wonderful week!

  • Malayka
    Reply

    This is fantastic! I'm currently going to a pregnancy yoga class once a week and it's 1.5 hours of absolute bliss. I can't hardly imagine now what my life would be like without that time. Just a question, there are so many videos on that site, which one do you do?

    • Jodi
      Reply

      I'm currently doing the postnatal classes but Gaby suggested typing "mom" into the search bar and there are a variety of classes suitable for Mums (there's even a 15min lie down and relax class!) x

    • Gaby
      Reply

      Hey Malayka, I've been using the site for years and I've just discovered the teachers that I like and tend to stick to their classes. Sometimes I'll branch out, but my firm favourites are: Meghan Currie, Mara Branscombe, Jasmine Tarkeshi, Shiva Rea, Clara Oss Roberts, Bernie Clark (for yin), and Danielle Mika Nagel. I choose my video based on how long I have to practice, and what time of day it is. E.g. if it's nighttime (so I want to wind down) and I have about half an hour, then I'll choose a restorative/yin/nighttime class that's 30 minutes long (Mara Branscombe has some good ones). Hope that helps!

    • Malayka
      Reply

      Hi, thank you both very much. I am definitely going to give this a go, I'm particularly into the relaxing part at the moment (running after a toddler the rest of the time might have something to do with that!).

  • oscarlucinda
    Reply

    Funny you mention this. I just met a lovely mama at the park the other day who runs an online yoga site for mums (www.yumsyoga.com). Found the idea kind of amazing …. x

  • Oz
    Reply

    I love codyapp.com. Especially classes from Meghan Currie, they are so healing and focusing on being present. xo

  • Gaby
    Reply

    So glad it's been helpful to you! I know some yoga teachers who use it as inspiration to plan their classes, so all around, I just think it's a great resource x

  • halfadayaway
    Reply

    When I was pregnant with my first child and living in papua New Guinea I discovered yogadownload.com. The thing I love most about it is that there are many yoga audio classes with pdf pose guides for quick reference before your begin your practice. Having a video tends to distract me and often makes me fall over if I try to watch it while practising! There are three different lengths of class too and the 20 minute ones are free! I would never have been able to practice yoga both during and after pregnancy if it weren't for laptop yoga! And now my two daughters (aged 3.5 and 2) practice at home with me using it too! Perfect. Sam x

  • Jacinta
    Reply

    I've been doing the "Useful Yoga" sessions on Youtube with Steffy White. They have specific "needs" like Detox, Stress, Digestion etc. And the best part is they are only 20-30 mins each! Totally achievable with a 15 month old trying to sit on your head the whole time! As long as it gets you moving I don't think it matters where your motivation to practice comes from! What matters is you're doing it =D

  • Unknown
    Reply

    Essence of living tv on youtube also has a huge variety of yoga, Pilates, barre and yin all different duration's and levels too!

  • Grace Chapman
    Reply

    Essence of living tv on youtube also has a huge variety of yoga, Pilates, barre and yin all different duration's and levels too!

Leave a Comment