why aren’t you having a home birth?
Based on the fact that I’m a pre-natal yoga teacher with a passion for birth it would be easy to presume that I choose to deliver my babies at home. For the record, I don’t (or to be more precise, I don’t intend to).
When I wrote about packing my hospital bag I was surprised by the number of people who questioned why I wasn’t birthing at home. Sure, it’s easy to presume that I fit the stereotypical home birthing mould but that’s the thing about presumptions; they’re often wildly incorrect.
To be honest, I don’t have any desire or emotional attachment to birthing at home. I suppose the best reason I can give is that I don’t feel that my past birth experiences could have been improved if I had of stayed at home. In both Che and Poet’s pregnancies I chose to be looked after by hospital midwives and in both circumstances I was offered nurturing guidance, endless support and exemplary back rubs and encouragement. My pre and post-natal care as well as my birth experiences were positive and memorable; I wouldn’t have changed a thing.
Of course, the financial cost of a home birth is also a big deciding factor. Whilst there are public hospitals in Australia that offer a free homebirth option, they are few and far between. Hiring a private midwife is a significant financial investment, most of which isn’t covered by medicare or your health fund. Why? The insurance costs are exorbitant because unlike the governments of countries like New Zealand and The Netherlands, ours isn’t overly supportive of the homebirthing movement. It’s a contentious issue and, without doubt, a highly political one.
My own birthing preferences aside, I honestly believe that they choices we make in regards to how and where we birth our babies are deeply personal ones. Only the birthing mother needs to feel content with her decision to choose a private hospital over a birth centre, a VBAC over a planned cesarean, an on-the-bed hospital birth over a home water birth.
It’s also refreshing to come back to the fact that while some of us seek an empowering and enriching birth experience, others aren’t attached to those words or their consequences.
Perhaps the most profound (and humbling) lesson I have learned from working with pregnant women, is that positive, memorable birth experiences can happen in theatre, on the hospital ward, in the birth centre, in the car (!) or at home. And regardless of our plans and intentions, at the end of the day, the place where we birth our babies is, to some degree, beyond our control.
And apt lesson as we journey into motherhood, don’t you think?
Caitlin just published an insightful post about her own home birth. It’s a wonderful account of the practicalities and the experience.
You're so right when you say that only the birthing mother needs to feel content with her decision. I have always thought this. We have home-birthed, yet this time around we'll be going to an independent birth centre. I am expecting to field the same question you are! Sadly, I think I'll also have to fight off the self-righteous expressions of 'yes, that's where you should have been all along' from most people. Just as well I'M the birthing mother! 🙂
Oh, and thanks for that link to Caitlin's post – I'm just about to read it before I carry on with my afternoon chores!
I agree that the mother's comfort and sense of well-being and safety is paramount. I've realized I like the idea of home birth, but I have no desire to pursue it. I don't want my home to be where I birth my babies. I prefer to leave my older children at home with a sitter or relative while I go somewhere else free from distractions to have my baby. Each person is different, and I am finding it's much more important to respect those difference than to try to persuade some one else to feel the way I do. I wish you peace and strength for your upcoming birth – no matter where it is! 🙂
Thank you for sharing my post…I never thought I would have a home birth but motherhood changes you!
Like you said, a mother should feel content with her choice and with her experience and that is all that really needs to be mentioned…we are fortunate to have so many options.
And I had a just in case hospital bag all packed and ready to go…I think I thought if I packed it I wouldn't need it? I tend towards superstitious!
love it x
Here in NZ home-births are common practice, and good for them. I had my babes in the hospital because that's where I felt most comfortable. I know people who ere appalled at my decision but yeah my decision 🙂
I was a bit horrified at some of the 'why aren't you having a home birth?' comments so I'm glad that you have voiced your feelings on the issue. As Amy Poehler so aptly says:' Good for you. Not for me.'
It is somewhat inevitable that in Australia there are preconceptions about women who choose to birth at home because there is not a culture of homebirth. I only discovered that homebirthing was a possibility when I wandered into a community midwifery centre to use their library. The main reason I chose homebirth was because that was the only way to have an assigned midwife for my birth and pre- and post-natal care. It's good to know that you are able to have that same midwife care in a hospital setting. In the end everyone wants the same thing – a positive birth experience for mother and baby, and there are as many types of them as there are mothers and babies.
I love this. As a mother I have (fortunately) had two beautiful birth experiences, one in hospital and one at home. Both felt like the perfect environment at the time and I am still just as fond of each experience. As a midwife I see women having beautiful experiences both at home and in the hospital. I have also seen homebirths that may have been a more positive experience if they happened in hospital and hospital births that may have been more positive in a home environment. But the most beautiful and empowering birthing experiences I have whitnessed have been where the women have been at the centre of the care with all of their needs being addressed and respected, including place of birth. Whether at home or in hospital, vaginal birth or c-section, these women have owned their births and the environment disappears into the background with the woman, baby and her family as the focus. We are all individuals with individual needs. And that's OK. Jodi, I'm sending you happy birthing vibes from NZ. How exciting that you get to meet this wee babe soon. xx Bonnie
Here, here… so beautiful x
I think this is a great post. As you say it's really about where the mother feels happiest and safest. I've had all three of mine in our little local hospital, it's 10 minutes from our house, and it feels small and cosy and to all intents and purposes, midwife-led. I had a great experience every single time and if I have more children that's where I'll want to deliver them. I'm glad you have such a great hospital too 🙂
I have never been pregnant and due to give birth in a home that I own and I think, on some level, that may have informed my decision to birth in hospital. It didn't feel right to have such a profound experience in a transitory environment.
I am a complete water birth/natural birthing advocate and have done so with 2 of my 3 and have had the most incredible support of midwives through our public system (I'm the first to acknowledge my fortune/priviledge of being pregnant in the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney).
I get you, entirely. Blessings for your upcoming birth x
I'm 38 weeks pregnant with my second and I'm in the UK where a midwife led system is the norm, home birthing is also encouraged. My first birth, while I wouldn't change a thing, ended with an emergency cesarean. It is an emotional hurdle to come to terms with an unplanned cesarean, there seems to be a lot of society pressure on birthing 'naturally'.
I am attempting a VBAC for my second, however I won't be disappointed if it ends once again in an emergency section, as upon reflection, for me the most positive and beautiful birth experience i can have is one that ends with a healthy baby, no matter the path taken/chosen to get there.
Good luck Jodi with your birth, its been wonderful to follow along and share this pregnancy with you.
the best thing could be if we had the choice to plan the birth where we want, at home or in the hospital. Here in my country, homebirth is now a so rare exception and not all hospital welcome mother asking not to give birth laying on their back… that makes it complicated for mother who want to be free of their physical movements, positions during the giving birth…I had such a bad contact with the chief midwife when I prepared my hospital birthing that I think it unconsciouly induced that my little girl was finally born at home, before we could go to hospital and before any medical assistance could come (I do not recommend this for anyone of course !)
Beautifully said. I am happy people enjoy home births but I've had two wonderful hospital deliveries. All that is not broken… And secretly I've loved having food just appear and disappear so I can focus on my babe and not feel any pressure to help.
Love this post. So well said, Jodi xx
How true that we all are not attached to those words or ideas. I am the only of my friends that desired an intervention free / unmedicated / natural birth (not even sure what to call it without ruffling feathers these days!). That baffled me, but the truth is, it doesn't matter. We all wanted to be mothers and we were all blessed enough to give birth to healthy babies. Love you blog so much, Jodi!
Love this!!! I would of loved to have a home birth but unfortunately it was not in the cards for us neither in finance or support. I had two c-sections and I had a terrible spinal block headache worst the second time round and my recovery was long. However I still consider my birthing experiences a positive one. My children are healthy and I recovered just fine in the end. I consider myself lucky considering some do not have a good experience or happy ending.
Wholeheartedly agree with you so much pressure put on mums by other mums and really at the end of the day your own peace of mind and well being is what counts.
For me, it's about coping and being happy with the way I tackle my mind during labour. The location isn't really an issue for me. I find a little peace knowing there are people who know what they're on about on call if I am feeling unsure at any given point but it's just all about choice really isn't it? Everyone deserves that.
As a trained birth doula I couldn't agree with so many of the points you brought up in your post. A woman needs to feel comfortable, safe and happy with her birth plan and place she intends to birth her baby. Notice the word intend. We can make all the plans we want but the truth of the matter is is that birth is unpredictable. Good for you for being self assured and knowing what it is you want. I had my son at home and that happened to be where I felt the most safe and comfortable. Not once would I have ever refused to go to the hospital if my midwives didn't think I or my baby were safe. Feeling comfortable with your plan and being flexible and realistic I think is what makes for a positive birthing experience. I also think we can ostricize woman who choose to formula feed, plan a c-section etc. We do not know each woman's personal history or health concerns/risks. Many woman can and do have positive birthing experiences who do choose to undergo a planned c section, or even end up having an unexpected emergency c-section. I know woman who choose to bond and nurture their babies through bottle feeding and for them and their baby it is the right choice. We need to support each other as woman and mothers and nurture each and every woman's own instincts of motherhood. Only a mother knows what is best for her and her baby, I really believe that. Happy Birthing to you and many blessings for you and your family.
So many people asked me this when I had my third! A home birth just never really appealed to me, even though it was obviously assumed that I was the sort of person to have one! I had three very different births with amazing midwives and obstetricians in the public health system. It's great to have a choice and I was very happy with the one I made. xx
"…positive, memorable birth experiences can happen in theatre, on the hospital ward, in the birth centre, in the car (!) or at home…"
So very, very true. My birth experiences have been varied, first child in a country birthing centre, the next two were home births and the following eight were all in a supportive country hospital. Some with complications, most not, one was at 18 weeks with its attendant heartache, but all were their story and positive in their own way.