three steps to a simple home
It’s all about thinking simply. Or simply thinking? Both, actually.
When I first started decluttering I figured that I’d go through each cupboard, sort the contents into piles and only put back what I really wanted to keep. In my naïveté I presumed that once I was done with each room, I would be basking in the aftermath of a job well done and get on with my day, unencumbered by all the stuff. That was all well and good until I realised that the first cull is never the last; decluttering is addictive.
Simple living, at its very core, is about habit. Some of us fall into this way of living out of necessity, others do it by choice. Regardless of the motives, simplicity requires you to embrace a new way of living and, ultimately, a new way of thinking. It is so much more than the physical act of decluttering – it requires an entirely new mindset.
Generally, habits are hard to change. In this day and age, we like a quick fix and simplifying the home is anything but a small job. I know many people who, if it was affordable, would hire someone to come in and do the hard work of sorting and culling. But there’s a lot to be said for getting your hands dirty and doing it yourself; it’s a practise that gets you thinking – about money, silly purchases, practicality and necessity. It can be confronting but it can also be enlightening.
Consuming, coveting and hoarding habits are hard to shift. You may be completely adept at cleaning out your wardrobe but if you then indulge in a few frivolous shopping trips you’re right back where you left off. Essentially, nothing has changed. So, how do you simplify the home for good? How do you shake the old habits and cultivate new ones? A three-step strategy, if you will….
1. declutter- slowly and steadily.
In my opinion, starting is always the hardest step so make it easy for yourself: choose a kitchen drawer, set the timer on your phone and work solidly for 15 minutes without interruption. Once you have completed it (and yes, sometimes a focussed 15 minutes is all it takes) move onto the next. Instead of setting the lofty goal of an entire day, work in stages (this is particularly helpful if you’re a mum with small children) and get a little bit done each day. If you start to get overwhelmed by the enormity of the job or exhausted from the repetitiveness, remind yourself why you started in the first place; come back to your intentions.
Whilst decluttering my home there were countless times when I experienced that sick feeling associated with buyers regret; my indulgence was selfish and inconsiderate and all I had as a result was overflowing cupboards. When you sort through the stuff in your home it tends to stir memories but it also conjures an emotional response. My advice? Acknowledge it, sit with it, learn from it…move on to the next cupboard with newfound awareness and enthusiasm.
2. don’t replace what you culled, even if the idea of brand-new-everything is irresistible.
Empty space often begs to be filled but…ignore it! Bask in the ease of less stuff, less cleaning and subsequently, more time.
3. practise restraint and think before you buy.
Granted, this is the tricky part and for me and it’s taken a good long while for my mindset to shift. My old habits of frivolous spending and buying on a whim were hard to break but once I realised how careless I had been, I was motivated to change my spending/acquiring habits for good. Consider asking yourself the following when you’re about to buy:
– why do I need it
– is it affordable?
– where will it live?
– how long will it last?
– am I succumbing to a trend or buying it because it’s timeless?
– do I really need it?
To think before you buy – it’s nothing new but somewhere, somehow, we lost our way. In my opinion, when you buy with awareness you have more appreciation for your purchase, you’re more likely to look after it and as a result, it will stand the test of time.
How has simplifying your home changed the way you spend your money?
A timely post for me! I started and completed one drawer, but as I live with a hoarder of a husband I'm not sure I will ever truly declutter (inner weep)
Moving house cured Daniel of his hoarding tendencies (thank goodness for that!) x
I completely agree that to truly learn from your past consumerist habits you have to do the work of decluttering yourself. Just going through each item, one by one, is a very good insight into why you were once in that place, how far your mind has moved on and how much you want your living space to reflect your new mind space. For me I can now see that my big goal of saving for a mortgage deposit was so far off and monumental that I often ending up spending too much money on small things to salve my impatience. I see now that it was counterproductive but at the time that beautiful jug or hand painted plate was going to look amazing in my new in-the-future home. Now I have my future home and I spend time divesting myself of all those things so that I can have space and peace and light. Life and learning! It really has changed how I spend money. Now so much more considerate of quality, timeless design, etc.
Thank you for sharing this…much food for thought! x
Oh you are so right about facing our silly purchases. It can be somewhat painful but we learn so much from facing it. We had to let go of most of our belongings right when I gave birth to our boy, I talked about it here if you're ever curious http://www.happy-bandits.com/home/the-minimalists
Now that we are getting back into a more stable life I am always questioning my purchases, I try to avoid the impulsion of buying now, instead I'll try to sleep on it for a few nights and sure enough, the urge to buy that whatever new piece of clothing is gone most of the time. I also love the feeling of leaving a cute boutique empty-handed. To face the temptation yet resist it. I have found that a more minimalist lifestyle gives some much space to true joy to fill our every day. Thank you for this great post (all of them really). xx
I choose not to visit those endearing little boutiques any more. Perhaps I know myself well enough to know that the temptation is just too much so I'm best steering clear altogether. Will visit your blog once the children are in bed x
Do you ever have disagreements with your husband in the decluttering? I find that this is one of my most challenging obstacles. It's fine to declutter for myself, but others get upset when things disappear. My husband argues that it's not frugal to get rid of things you might need in the future. He also finds things for free and collects them. Rather challenging when they are good quality and I can't definitely say we won't use them. How do you deal with this? I would love to hear your thoughts.
No, we don't disagree about decluttering but he definitely has a fabulous way of reminding me to come back to my intentions when I say: "I'll get one at the shops…." to which he replies: "Why not make do with a, b, c…"
After moving house we both appreciate the feeling of not being weighed down by "stuff"…and honestly, we don't have the storage to collect hence we often leave things behind. There's a lot to be said for a humble home and a tiny garage 😉 x
Every time I look at your blog I think I really need to have a clean out!! Just can't let go of all the baby stuff cluttering up the house just in case I change my mind and decide to have another bub!
I know so many people that got rid of all their baby stuff and fell pregnant soon after 😉
Would love some insight on how to deal with 'stuff' arising from hobbies! I used to bake and sew and over the years have accumulated a lot of equipment, sprinkles, cases, fabric, buttons etc and have a really hard time letting any of it go even though as a working mother I have no time To do anything let alone baking or sewing for pleasure!!
Is is sad to say I don't have many hobbies? That said, photography is most definitely a hobby and thankfully, it only takes up virtual room 😉 …. as for baking, I do enjoy it but my kitchen cupboard space is minimal so I've had to be really minimalist when it comes to what I own. I suppose my suggestion is: pack it away, wait six months, if you haven't needed it then it's time to cull x
Paula and Fsn I am totally in your boat – the minimalist/simplifying thing is hugely challenging I find when your home 'wears many hats' so to speak…
Yes, I too would be very interested in a post at some point that delves into that world of simplifying the multipurpose home or the home of, as mentioned in the above post; the crafter, hobbyist etc. I know I've said this before – but when we are working from home, schooling, living here, growing our own food, preserving, fermenting, making herbal preparations, making candles, crafting etc etc and on a rural property with a shoebox cottage home that has barely any inbuilt storage to boot – I know we have a fair bit of 'stuff' – but it is all 'stuff' that we use (well, most of it, I'm sure there's the odd bunch of stuff here or there that could always have a thing or two culled out of it – but for the most part it predominantly all gets used)….
I am always, very inspired by your posts Jodi, I can find though that for me, many of the principles can be difficult to apply in our home. Perhaps I just need to finally submit to reading 'Simplicity Parenting' and some of the other books you have referenced as being very inspiring over the years xxxx
"Think before you buy" is what I've learned today. I've spent the better part of today de-cluttering my wardrobe – and while I may not be able to part with my "Historic Tee-shirt Pile" (yet) I have so far, bagged up four big bags for The Samaritans – many, still with tags on. Uh huh. Think before you buy! Some were bargains, many were "I might wear it" and some, gulp, were "I'll get back into that size again". (Nope, really, that ship has sailed). I feel lightened already – I can't wait to get to my girls' wardrobes tomorrow 🙂
Oh goodness, I've been there! I used to be a sucker for a sale (buy up, it's cheap!) but when I look at the clothes that I wear years after I've purchased, they are the classic pieces that I bought because I knew they would work with my existing wardrobe. I'm so pedantic when I buy nowadays x
My worst habit is taking other people's cast offs–thinking at some point I'll need it. Especially hammy down clothes for the kids, or things my mother brings me that I really don't need and shouldn't accept in the first place!
I am very good at saying no as I really don't want to deal with more "stuff"…and if I'm tempted I think about where it will live, first x
I really enjoyed this post Jodi.
I often run the last check list through my head before making a purchase. My biggest weakness is home wares and kitchen wares, but this house is very short on storage and most home wares are priced above there worth, which does save me from most unnecessary purchases!
I go weak at the knees for linen…but it's quite cumbersome to store so I always come back to that when tempted x