the school series : the amateur school mum
beach visits on a whim – the beauty of school holidays
The first six months of school have been a little like the first six months of motherhood. I’ve been the amateur, tentatively walking a new path, questioning my ability and my decisions. Whilst my days are not dictated by the cries of a newborn they are most definitely controlled, to an extent, by the school bell.
Documenting my experience as a school mum seems relevant to this space and so it’s with all honesty that I say it’s been harder than I anticipated. This brand new phase of parenthood has been a little confronting and it’s definitely taking me time to adjust. Che is thriving – I’m so grateful for his enthusiasm and happiness. But me? Well, generally I’ve found it all a bit overwhelming.
When you become a school mum you automatically take on a whole new list of responsibilities – life gets significantly busier. We were a few weeks into the school year when I realised that this new level of busy was now my normal. It was then that I vowed to keep things simple; easy afternoons, no extra curricular activities, slow, spontaneous weekends. Even so, there’s been a fair few weeks where I’ve wished for those pre-school days when we were a little freer.
When your first-born starts school you grieve the end of one journey as you attempt to embrace another. There’s a period of transition that can be a little rocky; you step into a new role and place yet another hat on your head. It’s only now, in retrospect, that I understand what the transition phase was all about. Amidst the strict routine of the school week I was establishing a rhythm so that I could, in my own way, feel grounded and settled in my new role.
I spent most of 2012 wondering how Che was going to cope with the changes – not once did I think it would be me with the issues. Parenthood is so humbling.
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it is so humbling and you describe it simply, powerfully, and beautifully.
It certainly is Jodi. Thank you for sharing, and being a mindful bell to me of what is yet to come… and to remember to enjoy now. And of course, remember to look after myself. xx
I agree. I think I found it harder than Marlo! I felt like she had taken a gigantic step away from me and it made me so sad. I think I wasextraemotional about it as I was pregnant so was worried about the change of a new baby too. Lovely post Jodie.
My first born starts in January. I know that it is me who is going to have the issues, not her – she's so ready to go and will just thrive. Motherhood brings with it challenges unexpected.
it definitely is harder for us mums to adjust to our babies going off to new adventures whilst we try and adjust to their routine.
we've had an emotional few months as my preppie finds it difficult to adjust to changes and even though you'd think that would have happened in February it's happening now.
it breaks my heart and i melt inside when he tells me "i miss you"
you know what…i miss him too.
thanks for sharing Jodi x
I understand and agree completely. It isn't easy.
Yep. I feel the same and then just as you find your groove it is time for grade one! And the nervous new feeling starts all over again. Great that you have shared this so honestly, I found it helpful to say how I was feeling rather than pretend I was cool with it all xx
My youngest started High School this year … that took some getting used to.
xx
you took the words right out of my mouth, jodi. I am so grateful ruby loves school so much, it has made the transition so much easier than it could have been, but you are right about the period of grief. it seems so silly to use such a strong, sometimes harsh, word, but it's so very true. I think I have been fighting the busyness too, waiting for it to calm down.. but I too have to come to the realisation this is normal – and it will only get busier from here. maybe a part of me will always feel this way, having my days dictated.. but it's a reality that I must accept. thankyou for writing it so eloquently for me xx
and then it happens all over again with high school.
what a roller coaster.
parenting is humbloing indeed. xxxx
I have my 3 yr old at preschool one day a week with his younger brother at home full time and I'm already dreading the school years even though they're awhile away. And I was a primary teacher! The most constraining thing I found when teaching was the rigid routine and time tabling. I never quite fit the mould as I was the teacher who thought Art in the mornings, why not?! I too love the spontaneity and rhythms of home. Thank you for your posts that show despite our concerns for our kids, it's actually us parents that need to look at how we'll cope with the transition.
As soon as you get use to he will e in High School. As a parent, a sole parent in my case, that is when my fear began. I always say my daughter, Tamika, is responsible for the woman I have become.
o-o starts school in september, a couple of weeks after his fourth birthday – TOO young! but to keep him at home and risk him missing the vital initial group bonding in the class…? wish we were somewhere sensible and nordic where they just go to kindergarden until they are 7. x
Oh gosh, such a pertinent read for me. Because of the way the school system works here in Scotland and because of how my Matilda's birthday falls, I have the choice of her starting this following school year by which time she'll be 4.5years or the next and I am anxious about getting it right for both of us. Holly.x
So true Jodi. It is totally more of an adjustment for the Mum, especially with the first child. Mine have all coped well but it was quite a rude shock for me also when I realised the "free time" I thought I would have during school hours goes by in a blink of an eye. It felt like no sooner had I cleaned up from breakfast and pushed a few buttons on some appliances that it was already nearing home time! Very very humbling 🙂 Mel xxx
I've found it a difficult transition too, especially because the structure of the school day seems so at odds with my days at home with my 3 and 1 year old. It's been exhausting! Hopefully, we'll get the hang of it soon. xK
I have just loved reading your school series and season series. I am in the countdown to send my firstborn off to school and trying to embrace the change with cheer but inside my heart quivers a bit at the change in our rhythm and natural ending to this wonderous preschool journey. I just didn't realise it would go so fast. Your writing has helped me clarify my feelings and make them part of my journey, and it's also highlighted simple pleasures that I can continue to be grateful for. Thanks so much! Keep writing xB
I personally dread the start of the school chapter. I think it will be me with the issues to. Visiting for Rewind.
School is hard, man. This is my hardest year yet and not just because my last 'baby' has hit Kindergarten. Three school schedules and a couple of extra-curriculars for each and I'm drowning! That's even before you add in my own life… 🙂
x
It's an eye opener, isn't it? I remember thinking I would have more time, but I've been busier than ever. Here is my post on the exact same moment in time: http://kympiez.blogspot.com.au/2012/03/school-learning-curve-for-parents.html
Isn't it nice that Che is enjoying it. Hard to be a school mum. I find it s tough handing them over each day when some days I just want to hold them and cuddle them. Don't think hey will appreciate that for long though.
But just like with all parenting, the school mum bit gets easier very quickly. My eldest is in grade one and the best thing I have done this year was to join the parents and friends. I had every excuse of why I couldn't etc, but making the time has provided me with so much. Meeting more people, understanding the internals of the school more, it's very valuable.