Just this week Percy started commando crawling, he waved goodbye to Daniel and when I asked him for a kiss he pulled my face towards his and sucked my nose. Baby’s getting big.

I was chatting to a friend a few days ago and relaying my last week of pregnancy to her. It was such a strange feeling, that small part of me that knew something wasn’t quite right and the subsequent anxiety and impatience that was, at times, all-consuming. Percy’s birth was so wildly different from my first two…challenging and worrying and assisted. Some may say this is an esoteric thought but I honestly believe that his trying birth made for a rather unsettled first few months. Frankly, he took a while to settle into this world.

But now? He’s a happy cherub; all wide eyes and rosebud pout. He’ll eat half-an-avocado and a lamb cutlet for dinner regardless of the fact that he is well and truly toothless. He won’t say no to sourdough, stewed apples or mashed kumera, either. He’s the first of my baby’s to take to solid food with gusto and I intend on it staying that way (although past experience tells me otherwise).

If my inclinations are right, Percy will probably be crawling within the next month. It seems completely surreal that the little baby who whimpered on my chest not that long ago is now ready to move about the place on his own accord.

It’s fast and slow and joyful and exhausting all at once.

I’ve had so many mothers email me lately, each one anxious and tired and utterly overwhelmed by everything the first year entails. I vividly remember the same anxiety; doubt and wonder and almighty love mixed together. There was, in retrospect, a sense of loss, too. It took me a while to find my feet as a mother; I grieved what I had left behind and struggled to feel confident and content in my new role. I remember fumbling and wanting so desperately to feel a sense of purpose.

Of course, it came, but it took time.

Be patient, first-time mother. Go gently.

I was recently added to Kidspot’s Blogging Alumni and as a result I have the opportunity to win $2500 for my chosen charity – PANDA (the support network for women with ante and postnatal depression) – as well as a very generous business grant. 


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