creating a stable family home
I could write endless posts about decluttering your wardrobe, simplifying your home and creating a space that you love. But at the end of the day, safety and stability is what we all seek in a home, isn’t it? It may not be a priority for the travellers among us but if you’re anything like me, there is much comfort and calm to be found in a strong, stable home.
The blue moon released a new outlook for us and it’s one we weren’t exactly anticipating. It turns out that our time in this beach cottage has a deadline; in ten months time we’ll be packing up and moving on. It wasn’t the plan and it’s not ideal but that’s the thing with rentals – there is much beyond your control. Not surprisingly I burst into tears when we found out, such is my reaction to any news of the confronting kind. And while I am disappointed that we won’t be able to stay here for as long as we planned, my worry is all wrapped up in wanting to create stability for the kids – for all of us, actually.
Our long term plan when we moved here was to stay for about three years, save more for our house deposit and eventually buy a home of our own. Over the last few months we have watched house prices skyrocket and it’s become blatantly clear that we’ll be spending over half-a-million dollars (of the bank’s dollars) on a shoebox of a home that will need renovations, of some sort. Our deposit has been slowly increasing but it’s not quite big enough just yet (realistically, we need about $60,000, if not more). Now that we have a definite deadline we’ve got the extra incentive to squirrel away as much as we possibly can.
We’re determined to move into a home that we can call our own instead of staying on this tumultuous rental path. Yes, it will be old and run down but nothing a little love and a bit of paint can’t fix (although a staircase could come in handy for a little boy who loves the idea of a room under the stairs, HP style). I can live without a dishwasher and I can put up with salmon coloured tiles in the bathroom but I’m not sure I can stand the unease of rental limbo for much longer.
Watch this budgeting-like-we’ve-never-done-before space…
We live in a tiny house that cost half a million dollars & that was 5 years ago. We'll grow out of it one day soon, but it's great to not be renting & to be able to do what we want to the house when money allows. I was so over those rental house inspections! Good luck with the saving. Xx
Thank you! The uncertainty of life in a rental (with three kids in tow) is very unappealing! x
We just got out the rental market after 10 years and it's such a relief. The only way we were able to do it (we live outside of Vancouver, where housing costs are also really high) was to buy a home with my parents. They (will eventually) live in the downstairs suite (it's currently under construction) and we live upstairs. It's a huge trend here on the west coast now because of how impossible it is for young families to get into the market. I know your pain!
I think Vancouver and Sydney rate as the most expensive cities to live (or at least buy a house). We're 1.5hours north of the city but we are definitely noticing an increasing number of Sydneysiders are opting to commute to the city and buy here, hence demand and prices are increasing rapidly. Enjoy your new home x
I have to say I think Auckland might be up there with top house prices too now! They were estimating that the average Auckland house price would be a million dollars by next year, absolute insanity! It makes us forever thankful to have our ramshackle little cottage on the outskirts of the city where we currently don't pay any rent (thanks to it being on my mum's farm).
Oh Jodi, that is so frustrating! Prices are so high here that even if we had a deposit we wouldn't buy; it's simply crazy. But it was interesting to read what Courteney wrote about Vancouver, because we have been talking to my mom about buying an investment property there! While houses in Vancouver are crazy expensive, apartments seem relatively cheap (compared to sydney that is). xx
Yes – we felt the same about getting out of the rental market after moving 3 times in 2 years. I love having our own home. We had to do a big year of saving to get the deposit to build (and we were child free at the time), as the house valuation of the hut didn't come in as high as anyone was expecting. Yes it was tough, but it made us appreciate it all the more.
…and it's SO beautiful! x
Come live in the country! You can get a lot more for your money, and such a lovely family environment. We live in Orange, and just love it, as tempting as it has been to go back to Sydney to be near family, I really think it was the best decision we made to buy our first home here.
Unfortunately we would be moving away from work if we did that, as appealing as it sounds x
Yes from someone that has done the big morgage thing be very very careful before you get into that situation try and buy within your means; meaning life is not a constant stress just to meet that commitment. Even if it means a move to a more affordable area. At the end to the day when the renting trap ends the (huge) mortgage owns your soul scenario begins…. And really is it worth it?
Sound advice Lyn!
Very sound. Thank you! We've always been quite careful with money as we both work (mostly) freelance – you've got to be careful! We don't have any debt whatsoever, have always purchased cars, furniture and appliances outright, so we have always understood the importance of living within our means x
We were forced into buying before we were completely ready as our little fibro cottage we'd been renting was going up for sale-my solution was to buy it directly from my landlord! We had abit of a deposit saved & thanks to the extreme generosity of my parents/grandparents & at the time a $14000 first home buyers grant everything fell into place. We got lucky & bought at the right time before prices went nuts. We have a huge backyard but a tiny house that needs a lot of work but it's ours. We're at the southern end of the coast where you can still get something for under $500K depending on what you're after. Good luck-I hope everything falls into place for you & your little family. It's so stressful but worth it in the end xx
That first home owners grant was so generous, wasn't it! x
Crazy generous-we actually signed our contract on the last day it was available!
Our little home is 85sqM – we had always planned a buy, live for a few years and upgrade. But housing prices (and earthquakes) and our intent to travel have meant that 6 years later we are still here. It's small – I have to be .. umm 'creative' with storage solutions. But its home, we are eating away at the mortgage and somehow I cannot envisage a bigger place.
Embrace small. Make it work for you. Keep the faith that you will find the right place, even if, like us, you don't realise it at first 🙂
We are completely prepared (and excited) to embrace small x
Ours is approximately 68sqm. It's very 'cosy' for our family of 3 + 1 dog but I love it! We need to declutter though-I think that's key to our happiness. I grew up in an enormous house & when I was grown up I wanted the opposite-it just wasn't 'homely' & it was easy to not to spend quality time with other family members.
That is unfortunate news; I completely understand why it made you cry. The need for stability is intrinsic, especially when you have a young family. All I can add to the above comments is that almost everybody I know tells me that their mortgage initially felt weighty and frightening and that there was little left in the budget for structural renovations and upgrades. That was certainly my experience too. But for me there is nothing that surpasses the security that I feel in the house that is my permanent home. You are sensible people, you will find a dusty gem that you will reinvigorate, bit by bit, with your style and charm. It may be a blessing. Sometimes the best decisions are born from situations that are thrust upon us. xxx Annie
It really is an intrinsic need, thanks for reiterating that. We wholeheartedly understand that we'll probably be living in a home that needs work for a good while before we renovate. And no doubt it will niggle at me for some time but I'll just come back to the fact that it's ours. I think I'll keep your last line close in these next few months. Thank you x
I too understand you bursting into tears Jodi. As a family that travels each year I can tell you whether my family and I are in a tent, a basic roadside motel room, or in a friend's spare room as long as we are all together and the rhythm of family life continues more or less the same, my children are happy. Home is where the heart is as the saying goes. Good luck with the saving. Everything will work out x
In my emotional state on Saturday I said to Daniel: "I just want to provide a stable home for the kids," and he replied: "We're a stable family unit, it's all they need." Perspective is important but I can't deny the deep need to find a home we can call our own x
I can appreciate your worries… We are currently looking into building our own home in the long run: cob, strawbale, timber: something more sustainable and cheaper. Perhaps that may be the road for you?
We would love to do something like that but we also have to be realistic about time…with two jobs and three children I'm not sure a strawbale home would get made anytime soon x
I wish you would put up a paypal button so all of us could help. You give so much good information and insight and it would be a small way your readers could thank you. And of course it will be great fun to see how you bring your own place to life!
You are the second person to suggest this and I'm a little overwhelmed by such kindness x
Perhaps it might be just the nudge you need. Not that these nudges are easy. I always think kids will be pretty stable if you can be pretty stable Mental blinkers are very helpful when doubt creeps in. Go the budget!
Oh, Jodi… I'm so sorry you have to go through this again. Being a renter has some perks but nothing really prepares you for the heartbreak of having to leave somewhere before you feel ready to do so. We went through the same situation earlier this year (with significantly less notice). Best of luck with the budgeting. I am quite sure no matter where your family ends up, you will make it a happy and safe home for all.
Every time I think I hate my mortgage (and I really, really do), I'm reminded that I would hate someone else having control over my own home more. I really wish you well in your savings, Jodi. It's not easy to leap in, but I don't think many of us ever need to look back. x
Oh I could cry with you. We have moved 5 times in the past year with our baby being just 1 year old. Yes sometimes we found a roof at some friends house who letted us stay with them for a couple of weeks. And we are moving again in 2 weeks. This time it should last a while (all fingers and toes crossed). We too would LOVE to buy our very own place to call home. But let me tell you that Hawaii is another expensive place. We really want a piece of land where we could grow fruit trees, have an big garden and build a little house. We do have some savings, enough for a good deposit but we don't qualify for a regular mortgage because my husband got let go of his job when our son was born and I do freelance work and just just started my own little company. Anyways, it is tough being on the rental market. Rentals here have become crazily expensive (not to mention landlords who don't want children!!) and we decided to move into a studio space so that we wouldn't spend any of our savings. I am actually very excited about the studio we're moving in, it's a large studio and I know it will be cosy. I've definitely learned throughout the year that we do not need much to be happy. Just very large curtains so that we can separate the sleeping area from living area! I might document the move thinking about it. I have cried in the past about our "home" situation, I always thought that the day we'd have a baby I would be able to be cosy all settled in our pretty home instead of what we have had to live out of 3 suitcases for a full year starting when baby was 6 weeks. BUT we always had a roof and we always were safe and that alone makes us much richer & luckier than most of the people in the world. Our baby is extremely happy & healthy, I have the most awesome & courageous husband and I know that no matter what, we will always be okay and happy as long as we are together. Good Luck Jodie, cry when you need to cry, I have no doubt everything is going to work out just fine for you. I so wish you didn't have to go though this with your family.
xx
http://www.happy-bandits.com
We have to move too, even though we'd planned to be here at least a few more years. And poor hubby has embraced the garden with a passion. I'm so sad to be leaving, and would just LOVE to be buying a place where we can stay. However, although we're also debt free, we don't have anything close to a deposit. *sigh* I feel your pain. These things happen for a reason…. don't they?
this has been our year too, exactly this. i have never felt the need to own before, quite liked the freedom of renting actually. until ours was sold and we had 2 months to be out with next to no options. stability was the key for us and our daughter. with lowered expectations we are now excited to be moving into a little old townhouse and happy that we chose below our means to live our life outside of our house!! best of luck to you and your family! p.s. i'm from the west coast of canada- i don't comment often, but love following along with your journey of living simply!
Just found your blog on a whim when I found In Kind looking for some baby items. I read this post and although I don't regularly comment on most things, the last paragraph of this got me. We moved recently to a small town – for a change in the pace of life, but also for affordability after our second baby. I guess the absence of a dishwasher and salmon coloured bathroom tiles are a match that span the world, because that's exactly what we have in small town Alberta, Canada:) all the best in your house hunt!
As usual with your posts Jodi, I can totally relate! Im about to sit down and write up a strict new budget with the aim of also squirrelling away as much as we can for the next 12 months. Ill be watching this space for any tips you might have, I need all the help i can get! Good luck!
Oh my goodness so much resonated with me in this post. We believe wholeheartedly that an atmosphere and love and security–family rhythm– make the home stable, not the actual walls of the house. We've lived in a less-than-nice apartment and what it lacked in physical beauty we created spades of family beauty through just being US and being grateful. Can't wait to hear more of your journey!
… also, this is my first time here thanks to the link list from The Good Trade. Your site is beautiful with great content. 🙂